summer reading

as you all know, and i'm sure have at one time or another poked fun at, i'm interested in youth culture and the media.


i'm not really sure how this happened. in high school i was really into literature and biology and then theory of knowledge class came about, and first i learned about logic and then formulating scientific methods and then the structure of the systems of math, and then... culture and anthropolgy and social sciences. and finally, that all these things are more similar than different.

then i went and studied film. and i guess something clicked between the two, and i realized how powerful of a tool film and photography and writing are, and how we can learn about our culture by reading our favorite films and our favorite books and looking at the pretty pictures in the magazine.


and i realized all the lies that these stories tell us about us. and especially aboout kids and teenagers. a vicious circle it is: grown-ups leave their childhood and teen years behind, distance themselves from kids, and forget what it's really like. and then they go off and make movies, and write books about and for kids, and they get it all wrong, they shove a few steretypes of kids. and kids see it, and they think that that's what they SHOULD be. they should be the jock or the nerd or the artsy kid, and they attempt and become the stereotypes. and then the adults write about the stereotypical kids they've created and how awful stereotypes are.

and that's why i want to make movies.
not to be godard or fellini or spielberg.

i want to show kids and teenagers who they really are. i want to get THEM to tell the world who they really are. i want them to know that they're just like everyone else, like all the grown-ups.
grown-ups lie. they seem like they know what they're doing, or what they want, but they don't. no one ever knows what they're doing, or if it will be ok, in the end.

i want to put real people up on those coveted screens, in those shiny photos, so that maybe they can see themselves and think, 'hey, that looks just like me.' and instead of trying to become something, become glam or stylish or rich or artistic, they'll want to become someone, who does something. maybe they'll see the fact that the punk girl's hair and the preppy girl's hair are the same color, but just worn in different ways. maybe instead of buying a lipstick to impress the boy they'll buy the boy their favorite book, or talk to him. and maybe the boy will talk to the girl, and not the person who's trying to seduce him or impress him or attract him.

just maybe...

tasks and broken hearts

i've neglected my net-duties for quite a few months. at first summer overtook me in a whirlwind of emotions, then chaos took me under its arm with a switch of continents and cities, and then school drowned me in its un-changing ways. and now, i'm facing home again, as soon as ten pages fill with my thoughts on coming of age european cinema...

and i'm finding people i want to take pictures of again, new people for my portraits.
my new muses and subjects...

my current projects:
my most painful muse (for the moment... and the painful is also delicious) inspired a series of 5 or 6 little films involving 2 characters whose lives intertwine again and again (or do they?) in not-fully-known ways, at different times. this will be my first time shooting film (b & w) and working with real actors...i'm excited, aren't you?

a screenplay about math, maybe numbery theory and fermat's last theorem and its proof. i'm still researching this one, especially all the math, learning all i need to know to write something that's not bullshit.

an adaptation of dorian gray... i still have a lot of thinking and living to do before this one is ready to be written. i'm diligently starting my research by beginning to party as soon as i come back to nyc from winter break.

my collection of st. mark's stories

a screenplay or novel or long short story about a resort in turkey and how different cultures clash and meet a single week of vacation

starting a collection of portraits (photographic and written)

making a collage on my door and table

getting my heart broken by someone other than me.

summer projects

this blog was kind of supposed to be more about me and my work than me and my boredom. so here goes:

1. my screenplay which i wrote in highschool is being produced by a masters student in UCLA's Producing Program. how cool is that?

2. i am actually doing work (whoa, right?) on a documentary about a group of bike stunt guys from milwaukee wisconsin. (stay tuned for a rave on the format of documentary filmmaking)

3. i have been taking photos. ok, so that doesn't seem too exciting, i know, but i havent been doing much of it lately, so i feel like its a small accomplishment. and i'm planning on taking more BMX (bicycle motorcross) and skateboarding photos.

4. the director of the Chopin Theatre in Chicago wants to collaborate with me after seeing some of my artwork.

5. i am working on what promises to be the root of a new screenplay

i am still interested in taking people's portraits and creating short experimental pieces. i'm also still in pre-production for seth's music video. and any possible other documentary projects that could come up.

i love the documentary. you can do one about anything, if only you love the topic and can make others see why. plus, when you decide what to make the film about, you meet a whole slew of people who can be so interesting, who are interested in you because you're interested in them. it can be a true collaboration. a lot of the biker boys are also into art, and video and photography, so i'm hoping they'll be able to help me out with a little bit of everything. and its not every day that some chick from 100 miles away asks them for interviews and takes interest in what they do, a sport that takes so much work and gets very little recognition. [end of rave about documentaries].

cleanliness

so i have been indulging in ( i mean... making a documentary about) all of chicago's weird summer events, and last weekend was printers row book fair. basically a two block used-book sale with the weirdest titles imaginable. i bought a formidable looking history of the balkans part I, and the man looked so surprised at my interest in medieval balkan history that he gave me part II for free. then since i was broke and could not purchase all of the 678 books i actually realized i needed (ok, so i wasn't so much broke as... i realized i have no place to put my books; i had spent about 6 hours rearranging my shelf to fit in my nyc strand purchases and i could not imagine another 6 hours of rearranging for printers row purchases), i chose to buy the small and funky looking "the philosophies of andy warhol: from a to b and back again". contrary to popular belief, it is a great idea to buy books based on their covers (and their titles of course. i could never buy a book called (i'm not making this up) "parenting for primates" or "tree injuries"). this book cover looked like a soup can, and had andy warhols face where the logo is. so i had to buy it, you see...

and so today, while i was proudly serving my duty as an american citizen (insert trumpet and flying flag in slo-mo), by serving my jury duty, i spent about 30 minutes reading about andy's obsessive friend's cleaning habits. literally this went on for somewhere between 10 and 15 pages (maybe more)... this woman was... crazy to say the least. but when i got home, despite being tired from having walked around the city all day (including the somewhat shady South Side of chicago), i had a two hour cleaning session of myself. i think i have scrubbed, shaved, exfoliated, soaped, shampooed, conditioned and moisturized every inch of skin i have.
now i feel very crisp and clean, although im still inspired to clean my already spotless (thanks to the constant demands of my mother, who would have loved andy's clean friend) room, but alas i am too dead tired. it shall have to wait until tomorrow. hopefully the cleaning inspiration will last through the night...

home on the range

i am in chicago, waiting for summer to begin. i feel like i'm in limbo, waiting, waiting, waiting.
purgatory.
i hope something happens soon.
in the mean time, i'm reading a biography of jim morrison which is making me really dislike both him and the author. thinking about flames that never died. spending way too much time at home. eating coffee beans. i'm trying really hard to create something.
i'm planning a music video for seth's new song shiver.
i'm attempting to contact jeff buckley's mother to get permission (and if i do, interviews) to write a biography of jeff buckley.
and honestly, i'm really missing new york city.

i thought i'd never say that.

to do:
1. get a job.
2. get a trim.
3. hang out with eli to make up for the 4 years i should have hung out with him instead of talking to him online like the chicken i am.
4. cast music video.
5. stop listening to songs on loop (currently seth's shiver and jeff buckley's hallelujah)
6. read some of the 40 books i purchased over winter break and resist the urge to buy more.
7. smoke more hookah (shorten life span by aproximately 3 years)
8. get a tan (shorten life span by approximately 5 more years)
9. get drunk with my high school friends (shorten lifespan by approximately 5 more years)
10. do something to lengthen my life span (like... ?)

11. accept the fact that i will die young and probably not leave a beautiful corpse...